


Venti Frap with a side of Sarcasm

by MarbleAide



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Everyone Is Gay, Flirting, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-02-22
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:18:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6080817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarbleAide/pseuds/MarbleAide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim owns a coffee shop and apparently that's open invitation for everyone to flirt with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Venti Frap with a side of Sarcasm

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write a really gay coffee shop AU so here you are!

At Midnight was a twenty-four seven coffee shop located in downtown Gotham right on the corner of a park and with plenty of foot traffic both on the weekends and on weekdays with everyone going to and from work. It was notoriously well-known for their amazing coffee creations, oddly kept hours (because sometimes it wasn’t exactly twenty-four seven depending who needed a nap), and the cute barista that stood almost always at the front counter to greet the guests.

His name was Tim, small, early twenties maybe, and everyone liked him. Well, sort of.

“When are you off?”

Tim blinks, looking slowly up from where he’s giving the guy his coffee to the guy himself. He stares at him for a moment, processing the question, and doesn’t reply as he turns on his heels, untying the apron from around his waist.

“Steph!” He calls out towards the back, nearly feeling the guy sputter behind him wondering what exactly just happened. “I’m taking my break, man the register.”

He’s gone through the door to the back door before Stephanie can even make her way out, grumbling about Tim being a pain in the ass as she wiped croissant crumbs from her mouth. He looks to the guy still standing by the pickup counter looking just a little bit offended and a lot confused. Typical. She rolls her eyes.

“Clearly he’s not interested,” Stephanie says before turning to the next customer in line with a sudden bright smile on her face. “Hi, what can I get you?”

These things happen often.

At least twice a day, Tim calls for Steph or Cass or Harper or Cullen to come out and take over for him. Usually, after his fifteen minute breaks are up they have to wander back to wake him up from where he’s set up a makeshift bed under one of the counters to inform him the various Romeos have left and it’s safe for the time being.

It’s sort of funny. Tim likes to give whatever numbers he finds on receipts he’s given or written on tabs of paper in the tip jar to Steph and Cullen—Stephanie calls them up the full with them, all the while Cass snickers in the background. Cullen’s gotten a couple of decent dates out of them, to which Harper likes to whisper her thanks seeing as she’s normally brought home leftovers from the dinner. It works out in the end, just as long as no one’s too persistent.

But there are, well, a couple.

“Name?” Tim asks, holding the cup in hand, having not actually looked up at the customer just yet.

“Dick.”

Tim pauses halfway through writing the ‘D’, eyes turning upward to find the oldest of the Wayne brothers staring back at him, his smile just as bright and charming as ever. Tim does his best not to let his nose curl.

Dick’s not the worst of them, honestly, but Tim’s still well aware of his intentions whenever he comes in asking for a blended iced with chocolate chips. He leans on the counter, cocks his hip, and smiles in some manner that Tim’s read about in magazines that’s supposed to ‘make girl’s panties fly off’ or something like that. It’s stupid.

Tim continues to write.

“Lovely, it’ll just be a moment.”

Tim hands the cup off to Harper who’s quick to put the drink together, moves to the counter to call out the name and can’t hold back the laughter when she reads Tim’s scrawled handwriting.

“Dong?” she calls out, still having to bite her lip to keep from cackling. “Blended chocolate for Dong?”

Tim just barely hides his own smile as Dick walks up to the counter looking a lot less like he’s going to drop panties and more like he’s about to run out of the store. He gives Tim a quick ‘how could you?’ look to which Tim shrugs and waves him out as Dick leaves.

Damian, the youngest of the Waynes, at least likes to be subtle. He comes in every once in a while to get a black coffee with a shot of espresso and whatever baked good catches his eye. Problem is, he likes to get two.

“For you,” he likes to say, pushing the extra scone or tart or whatever it might be across to Tim, to which Tim looks down at it before pushing it back.

“No thanks, I’ve eaten.” Which is normally a lie, but Tim’s not taking it when he can just take one later. Plus, he’s not going to give in to any of this subtle flirting.

The teen usually starts getting bitter after that. He’ll throw out some sarcastic comments, pout for a week every time he comes in, and makes sure to snatch whatever it is Tim is handing him in the most aggressive manner possible.

“Why does he keep coming back?” Cullen asked at one point as soon as Damian left, the teen looking as if he was about to throw the coffee back in Tim’s face.

Tim leans against the counter, shaking his head. “He’s a romantic like that.”

The worst, however, is Jason. The middle of the three and the most aggressively irritating out of the bunch. He plays the same game as Dick, mostly, but he’s not subtle, he’s not smooth. He looks like a predator about ready to jump over the counter and eat Tim alive (‘Eat you out, more like it.’ Steph once muttered and Tim has signed her dish washing duty for a week after.) He comes in with his motorcycle helmet under his arm smelling like cigarettes and wearing a smile that’s too sharp too be friendly.

“Tim,” He says, even when Tim isn’t wearing his name tag and that is only slightly annoying. “Long time no see, haven’t called me yet.”

Tim looks at him, blinking slowly. “And you are?”

It’s fun getting under Jason’s skin. It’s harder to do some days than others, but Tim just sees it as a challenge mostly. Usually, he’ll write the wrong name on Jason’s cup or make him wait twice as long for his drink—at one point Tim didn’t even give him the coffee, but that plan turned south really fast when it meant Jason just stayed even longer. He didn’t play into Jason’s hands when he came back, having ‘forgotten’ his keys on the counter or said he left a book there the day before. He likes to reach over the counter, invade Tim’s space, not back off when Tim doesn’t smile or make the usual small pleasantries of conversation.

“You should do it, just once. Go on a date and order the most expensive stuff on the menu and just take him for all he’s worth.” Harper said one night when the shop was empty of people for the time being. Tim was sweeping the floor and she was cleaning out coffee cups. Harper lay in the back taking a nap.

“No way, he’d just get ten times worse and start coming around more than once a week.” Tim scoffs, continues his cleaning and refuses to think anymore about the Waynes tonight.

They start to play dirty.

A redhead with a pony tail comes in during the later hours one Saturday, someone Tim’s never seen before, and it’s quiet enough that he strikes up a conversation. It’s only him and Cass during the late shift tonight, but Cass was out grabbing them both food from the Thai place a few blocks down, so right now it was just Tim and the redhead. He ordered a hazelnut brew with cream, no sugar, and one of the sugar cookies Cullen had made before his shift ended two hours ago.

The guy—Roy his name was—took a seat near the counter and Tim hopped up onto it, getting comfortable as they chatted here and there. He was nice, had tattoos on his arms that Tim could see when he turned, even something on his hip when he stretched and Tim asked him about them.

They talked tattoos and cars and at one point Tim even poured himself a cup of coffee. It was nice up until Roy’s phone rang and he picked it up—the speaker was loud enough to carry the voice on the other side in the empty coffee shop and recognizing it instantly made Tim frown.  
“Jason? The Wayne kid, really? You’re just as bad as the rest of them.”

“Shit,” he heard Roy whisper as soon as Tim started glaring at him. He didn’t get another word in or a chance to explain as Tim hopped off the counter and disappeared into the back room, refusing to come out until he heard Roy leave.

The next day Roy came around, trying to say it wasn’t like that, he wasn’t trying to spy or snoop or get into Tim’s pants, but still pissed Tim squirt whipped cream in his face before shouting for anyone to take his place.

Next came Barbara who Tim actually knew and who back fired in Dick’s face entirely. Tim talked with her over coffee and a half sandwich each about the three idiots that Bruce Wayne called his children.

“I’m pretty sure the three of them have a bet going at this point.”

Tim rolled his eyes, but he could believe it. “You’d think they’d all get tired by this point. It’s been about a year.”

Babs snorted. “I’m surprised you haven’t dropped kicked them to the floor yet.”

They talk a bit more, laughing about it all, and gives her permission to report back that yes, Tim is gay and he’s very not interested in woman. Or the three of them. They still don’t give up.

“Okay, dude, just fyi my cousin’s coming in to flirt with you.” Bart says just slow enough that Tim can make out the words. He’d come in not a minute ago and had already eaten three cookies and downed half the first cup of hot chocolate Tim had given him.

“Seriously?” Tim’s able to get out right before the bell at the front chimed and a redhead with green eyes walked in, tall and lean and smiling.

He orders lemonade for both him and Bart and pays for the damage the kid has already done, all the while throwing random jokes and terrible puns in when he can. Tim can’t help himself, he snickers at most of them. Partly because it seems like the guy—Wally— is trying so hard and partly because it’s fun watching Bart’s face look betrayed.

Tim plays along. He leans in a little closer whenever Wally’s talking, laughs as genuinely as he can muster, and winks when he says ‘don’t worry, the cookies are on the house’ as Bart continues to devour half a tray. He even goes so far as to scribble quickly onto a scrap of paper before they leave, slide it across to Wally just as Bart’s mouth falls open.

Wally grins at him, doesn’t wait around for Bart to start freaking out as he grabs his younger cousin by the arm to drag him out of the shop. Tim watches from the counter, sighing happily to himself as they get outside and Wally opens the paper, the smile on his face quickly falling just as Bart looks down at it and starts cracking up.

Tim makes eye contact with Wally one more time through the window, winking at him before he turns to the next customer. Bart can still be heard laughing outside.

‘You wish. Tell Dick nice try.’ The paper read and the next time Bart came in, he brought it back so they could hang it up on the wall behind the counter. Next time Dick comes in, he starts blushing before he can even reach the counter and quickly turns right back out the door.

“My kids still bothering you?” Bruce Wayne asks when he comes in for coffee. He takes it classic—splash of cream, one sugar, just enough that you can’t see through it. Tim always has his order read for him, knows his schedule, with a bagel with peanut butter toasted and wrapped up waiting for him with the large coffee simply marked ‘B’.

“Yeah, just I sort of egg them on, so.” Tim gives a little shrug, handing the bag and cup over. “Last time Jason came in I wrote ‘Jackass’ on his cup, though my favorite was when Damian came in and demanded he talk to the owner.” Tim snickered. “You should have seen his face when I walked to the back then came right back out. Wish I could have taken a picture, would have hanged it up right over the door.”

Bruce raises an eyebrow at the young man and once more Tim just smiles and shrugs.

“You know, you could tell them you’re seeing someone.”

“Aw, where’s the fun in that?”

Bruce only sighs, shaking his head as if to say ‘kids’ with a huff before he turns to leave. “Give my condolences to Kon for me.” He throws over his shoulder right before he leaves and Tim just grins, watching him go.

“How is it you still look like death when you work in a coffee shop?” Kon asks, leaning heavy on the counter as he watches Tim work, his voice laced just enough with concern that Tim pats him on the head before drizzling caramel over top a latte and handing the order over.

“Coffee isn’t a cure all, you know.” Tim says, turning back to start up the next drink, a hot green tea with honey on the side. “I work late.”

“You work all the time.”

“He’s right,” Steph pokes in and Tim throws a dirty look her way. “I think the last time you took off was like…three months ago?”

“I’m taking off this entire week!”

“Only because your boyfriend’s in town and he’s forcing you too.”

Tim doesn’t hit her in front of their customers, but he comes close. Kon’s still giving him this worried look and Tim can’t help but lean over the counter to kiss his forehead in comfort.

“No fucking way.”

Tim pauses before pulling back, turning to find the Waynes in his door—damnit. Jason’s the one who spoke up. Dick’s eyes are a little wide and Damian looks like he’s about to break his jaw with how tense he’s got it right now.

“Oh good,” Tim starts, putting on a smile. “Just what I wanted before a vacation.”

Jason sputters. “You’re dating someone? Since when?”

“Since you never asked.”

“Oh,” Kon looks over his shoulder at the trio and can’t help but smile at them in recognition. “These the three who’ve been getting people to come hit on you because it never works for them?”

“Sadly,” Tim nods at Jason. “And tell Roy to stop coming around when I’m not here asking Harper or Cass if I’m still mad at him. I’m not mad, just disappointed.”

Kon catches his laughter, hand coming up to cover his mouth, which only gets Damian’s attention to turn on him, glaring.

“And why are you so special?”

The amusement Kon felt died down quickly as he looks at the kid and then pushes up from the counter, standing upright. He’s not as tall as Jason, but his shoulder’s are wider. Damian looks all together unimpressed. Tim is entirely unamused by the entire situation. 

“Right, if any of you fight in my coffee shop I have your dad’s number on speed dial.”

The three of them all quickly turn to Tim looked just a little shocked.

“Excuse me?” Dick asks.

“Well, yeah. Bruce Wayne is essentially my number one customer. And he helped back part of the coffee shop. I cater all his morning meetings—you guys seriously did not know that?”

“His only condition for helping was we not name the place ‘The Gay Grind’ or ‘Queer Cups’”

Tim pinched the bridge of his nose. “They still sound like gay night clubs, Steph.”

“They’re still great names, Tim.”

It was bad enough that Harper and Steph liked to ask customers ‘How queer would you like your coffee today?’ but Tim couldn’t actually say anything seeing as he has just drawn a dick on the cup for Dick countless times—Tim actually does wonder at points why Bruce Wayne gave him money for this place.

Everyone in the shop looked on at them just a tad bit bewildered and Tim finally figured that this was it, enough was enough, he really needed to start his vacation.

“Right, okay, so, my shift is over.” Tim pulled off his apron, throwing it under the counter as Stephanie grinned from ear to ear, figuring she had won whatever strange argument they were having. “Cassandra is in charge while I’m gone, please don’t call me unless some part of the building is on fire. I’m gonna sleep for like two days.”

“Ey, ey, captain!” Stephanie saluted him and Tim only just regrets his decision to take time off except then he’s grabbing Kon’s hand and dragging him out of the coffee shop, pushing past the Wayne trio who’s eyes follow him out. 

“Oh, wait—“ Tim turns before he leaves, catching the door before it closes to face the Waynes one more time. “Tell Babs I owe her twenty bucks. I seriously thought you guys would figure it out before having to meet Kon. Oh well, I guess I was giving you three too much credit. See you in a week, boys.”

The bell chimes closed behind him as he wraps his arms around Kon, walking off towards his apartment, leaving everyone else behind.

“So…” Steph starts as soon as Tim’s out of sight, the three men turning to look at her. “Cullen’s still super gay and super single if you want to continue your ‘bang the barista’ game?”

“STEPHANIE!” Comes the cry from the back room and Steph needs to grab the counter to hold herself up as she laughs while muffled cursing can be heard through the closed door.


End file.
